


the dewit mysteries

by DalekLetoEndeavour



Category: Inspector Morse (TV), Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Crack, Crack Crossover, Fanboys - Freeform, M/M, morse is the reason why for darth sidious, morse the masonic mysteries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:49:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22696657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DalekLetoEndeavour/pseuds/DalekLetoEndeavour
Summary: Ever wondered why Darth Sideous turned to the darkside?
Relationships: Endeavour Morse/Hugo De Vries
Kudos: 2





	the dewit mysteries

**Author's Note:**

> This is what happens when you watch the Masonic mysteries and revenge of the sith on the same day  
> thanks to the encoragement by hannah from discord it became a crack fic! 
> 
> enjoy ;-)

"Say Anakin have you ever heard of the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the wise?"

Here they were; notorious Sith Lord Darth Sideous posing in his business outfit as high chancellor Sheev Palpatine and the hot headed Jedi knight Anakin Skywalker whom he hoped to seduce to a life of dark side mischief, taco Tuesdays and baking scout cookies for the Sith agenda.

Was there a better place to do so than an opera house? Nahhh

They we're listening to something which vaguely sounded like Mozart magic flute, just underwater and sung by giant squid wards aka Mon Calamaries.

The boy obviously didn't had the capacity needed to enjoy the greatness of this opera but much had been lost in translation anyways.

"That's Sith legends forbidden knowledge." "It gives you the strength to save the ones from death" and there was the catch, Anakin was hooked!

Inside Sheev/Sidious was rubbing his hands together with a devious grin.

"Master Skywalker it's high time I show you something."

The young Jedi wasn't sure what to expect but he accidentally had gotten his secret wife got knocked up and now needed to prevent her dead. Jedis sex education would have prevented that for sure but imagining Yoda with a banana and preservatives made him turn five shades greener.

Sheev walked across the room with a shit eating grin before switching the big red friendly button on his desk to make a door appear out of the blue. _That's some serious Sith shit_ thought Anakin turning his eyes to slits. "Tallyho!" The chancellor cheered suddenly had lost his nabooan accent stepping through the door. Skeptically Anakin followed. _Maybe Palpatine was a Sith Lord or had hit his head to hard during the rescue. Even obi wan sung something about a lady marmalade after_

**A long time ago almost the somehow same galaxy just at so outta no-one has noticed**

Sheev was younger then. Like dark hair young.

And not called Sheev at all. He had taken the name on after a late night drinking losing a bet to some pirate named Dameron.

Going by the name Hugo DeVrise.

A named he gave himself after his fav bubbly drink back in the days.

He'd spend his day with opera and baking cookies for world domination. Only one thing was missing. Someone he could share his evil passion with.

But Sheev weren't Sheev, well he wasn't at that actually, if he wouldn't have found some poor thing to pin after.

At a random errand run, chocolate chips had been on sale at Tescos, he had discovered him in the multi-media aisle; white hair, bright alive eyes and copy of the magic flute in hand.

But back then Sheev /Hugo hadn't had the powers as a high chancellor to command people into liking him. Especially since his cookies weren't that good yet.

So he resolved to simpler methods of going full intellectual Yandere mode. This included turning his living room into a Morse shrine after spending days on art works.

"That's what happens when you talk to my Senpai." he signed love-struck when he kill that girl which drove to the opera with him.

Freshen up Senpais dating profile so the howl CID and Oxfords singles would stay away.

Left “ _Senpai notice me. We could Wagner and chill together_ “ one night across the innocent red jag in masonic symbols.

Just Morse didn't appreciate it as much as he had hoped. So he killed McNutt the infamous

Force against darkness. Who was a bit easier to get rid of unlike Kenobi.

But Sheev/Hugo was still not noticed.

This called for dramatic measures, buying the terrible version of the magic flute to lighten the spark resolving in an actual fire some further computer shenanigans, he had what he wanted. Overly excited he had spent an hour roaming through the same 3 outfits in his bed room. Finally settled for a red velvet jacket and a turtle neck, he might or might not had borrowed when he had put McNutt into the closet, when the doorbell rang.

"Do you like it I put some much work in it." Sheev/Hugo guided Morse to his shrine room.

Latter didn't really respond to it.

"A drink?“

Didn't want one. Must have smelled the love potion in it. Dammit.

"Shall we put on our music?"

_Screw it I do it anyways_

"My live of crime oh that was just for fun." He shrugs, pulling a face like Andrew Scott's Moriarty.

Just that he didn't have that killer puppy face for it.

Forgive Senpai that he put me away in jail. Putting on his best _I’m no longer mad by face_ before saying." That's what good Christian hubbys do when their wife's misbehave"

Just Morse wasn't all too keen on their fake wedding picture. Or the wall decoration with countless fan arts of him and them together, recon that the green hair was a bit too much.

Sheev/Hugo the fell into an epic speech about light and darkness hoping it would turn him to his side. Still not impress? But he had been prepared for everything;

Ah well it's called shot gun wedding for a reason, so revolver proposal must come first.

But all that didn't help when Sergeant Puppy was knocking at the door. Okay maybe Lewis was on a Kenobi level in retrospective.

All that was left to do was faking his death to gain attention before driving dramatically off, heart broken only to be caught by the police. No bucket of ice cream and cookies for him tonight to cry over yet another failed flirt attempt.

There was an old man in a dark bathrobes sitting in the cell already who had greeted him with "Darth Plagueis the grey. May I tell you all about life insurance and how to influence people?"

******

Anakin Skywalker had never been gladder to see Master Windu. "Are you alright young Skywalker? Did something happen?" "It's the chancellor he's.... he's... „the young Jedi was panicking "Anakin stop panaking." "I can't you wouldn't believe what I've seen." "He's a Sith Lord?" "No worse he's a..." "Deep breaths. Let the force lead you." "A fan boy!"

"NO!!!"

* **STAR WARS EXIT MUSIC IN MORSE CODE** *


End file.
